I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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