im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
3pm strippers are depressing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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