So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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