my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize