Umm I'm too high to move.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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