Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
