508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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