Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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