she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
