My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
