So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
