remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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