Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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