i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
