Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
