If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
