I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
