Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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