I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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