Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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