omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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