East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
