so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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