Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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