Dual....:-)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
