I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
