hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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