OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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