K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize