was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
