i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
