i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
