dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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