you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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