i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
