Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
