I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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