So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
