OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
