How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
