Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
