i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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