it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize