Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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