So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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