Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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