dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We were destined to go to rehab together
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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