when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
