my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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