I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize