In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We have started to decorate penises.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
