so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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