i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
