You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
