i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
