In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
