Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
