are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
