did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
